Simple "Literacy Hygiene" Tasks: A Guide for Parents

I remember the first time I failed as a parent. My daughter (now 11) was 18 months old, and I thought I was being proactive by taking her to the dentist at such a young age. A few minutes into her exam, the oral hygienist asked me if I breastfed her. Proudly, I said yes. Not only had I found a way to nurse her as a preemie during her NICU stay and throughout the year of recovery that followed, but we were still having success even much past the 12-month mark. I heard her sigh. I was used to the passive looks. Breastfeeding until age one got you a badge of honor, but past 12 months? Disgusting and selfish.

She re-examined a few things in my daughter’s mouth, then proceeded to explain to me that the prolonged breastfeeding, specifically night nursing, had caused such severe decay deep into her molars that she would need surgery to fix the issue. What? I was 24 years old, and it felt like a bomb had been dropped on me. I brushed her teeth twice a day preventatively, she ate a full organic-based, 100 percent dye-free diet at the time, I sacrificed my body to give her 18 months of breast milk, and I still failed her? I did get a second opinion, but they also concluded surgery was the best option.

I know what you’re thinking: What on earth does any of this have to do with literacy? Well, a lot actually. When I left the dentist that day, I remember the shame I felt. I spent hours scouring the internet, wishing I knew more. Despite what my 24-hour Google dentist career had provided me, I was not a dental scholar. I knew deep down we had to trust the experts, and I booked the surgery the next day. However, there was never one time through the experience that a dentist had said to me, “you should have known sooner,” “you should have brushed better,” or “here are the tools, fix her teeth yourself.” We simply identified the problem, trusted the professionals, and I did better with my next kids.

The world of education is not forgiving when it comes to parents, though it masks itself as such. Educators both beg for parental involvement, yet condemn their errors in judgment. We hang signs on our classroom doors that read “All Are Welcome Here” but then chatter in private rooms, often determining a students' academic outcomes before they even walk through the doors. We place our own biases based on their background, economic status, siblings, sometimes unknowingly.

We often wear an unmerited invisible cape, wrongfully deeming ourselves not only educational experts but societal and parenting gurus as well. We see it as our job to “love and treat the whole child before teaching them,” placing ourselves as better parents than the ones they were given, more capable of providing a healthy environment than they were born into– ultimately blaming students' lack of pre-literacy skills on situations we truly know nothing about. I can unassumingly speak to all of this because, for many years, I inadvertently did it. I loved my students to the point of exhaustion. I tried to “out-parent” their parents, “out-educate” their economic situations, thinking that was the key to increasing their learning outcomes, while simultaneously earning a non-existent Girl Scout badge of honor. I will humbly say, this is wrong.

In those years where I lived as an unknown patronizer, did I teach many children to read? Of course. Did I build fantastic relationships with both parents and students alike? Also, yes. However, as my vulnerabilities became more exposed, my opinion on parents' responsibilities has changed quite a bit over the last few years.

Controversial? Yes. But even as a kindergartener teacher I do not think it is a parent's job to teach their child how to read prior to coming to school. Nor do I think a child’s background should be a roadblock nor gateway to their early success in school.

I am now as confident as ever when it comes to delivering literacy instruction. I should be, I am the educator. However, I am still researching and refining daily—attending conferences out of pocket, joining like-minded educational cohorts—to ensure that every student, not only in my school but in my district, has the same educational experience. To expect parents to do the same is unfair.

I have three children of my own and see my other 20+ “kids” during more daylight hours than my own biological children. It is my obligation to be efficient through my days and produce readers by first grade. If this doesn’t happen, then it is up to the school district and me to create a plan to remediate them. Whether this involves a further evaluation for a deeper learning disability, extra support or practice within their schedule, or yes, more practice sent home, children’s learning at school should be the responsibility of the school. I feel this so deeply that I too, sent my two school age children to kindergarten as non-readers. I did help each of them flourish with many pre-reading skills which I will discuss down below, but I trusted their teachers to do their jobs while they were under their care, and I complimented that by doing simple tasks at home. Alas, I have readers.

Don’t get me wrong, just because I do not think parents should bear the responsibility of teaching their children to read, I do not think parents are off the hook when it comes to their children’s education. Parents ARE the backbone of their child's success and do indeed play a role, especially in the preschool years, to foster learning in their children. Going back to my dentist example, I am hopeful (maybe naïve) that parents would not allow their children’s teeth to simply rot. At minimum, most children we see day to day have parents that are brushing their child’s teeth, bathing them, and providing them with clean clothes; covering their basic hygienic responsibilities. Are there exceptions to this? Of course, but I’m not talking about the extremes. These simple, proactive tasks, the “toothbrush” tasks, so to speak, exist in education too, and I have highlighted them below. They do make a world of difference.

Simple Literacy Hygiene Tasks

While some students may start with stronger “literacy hygiene” or come from more advantaged backgrounds, it’s unfair to expect parents to shoulder the entire responsibility of preparing children for major milestones like learning to read. Just as a dentist doesn’t expect me to perfect my child’s dental care before the first checkup, we can’t place that same expectation on parents. As educators, we now know the most effective science-backed methods for teaching reading; we are the experts in this area. Parents already face countless pressures in today’s world, so we must take the lead in guiding students to become readers, with their support at home. If we’re struggling to do so, the responsibility falls on us to find better solutions. While I am not trying to stop the sales of wonderful resources like “Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Steps” I don’t want families to feel that a child entering kindergarten as a non-reader is falling behind. By focusing on these practical, actionable strategies, we can set students up for success and help them thrive in their literacy journey.